This past Wednesday was our third wedding anniversary. We did a low-key, nice-but-not-extravagant dinner out at a restaurant we've never been to before. I put on a maternity sweater that somehow makes me feel trim and chic; big, bright jewelry that distracts from my puffy ankles, and heels, because I will always be too vain to wear ugly/flat/comfortable shoes all the time. I looked longingly at the cozy, golden-lit bar in the front of the restaurant, and at the glittering flute of champagne that the bartender was pouring. I definitely feel at least 50% less fun these days, since I don't drink, my stomach is the size of a (flattened) walnut, and at least half of what I put into my stomach gives me heartburn, no matter what it is. Nonetheless, I managed to put away an appetizer of the lightest little puffs of delectable fried oysters, a rich Chesapeake seafood stew, and most of a piece of key lime cheesecake. When the waitress asked if she could take my dessert plate away, I leaned back in my seat, moaning, and replied, "Yes, please, before I hurt myself." Since I'm not drinking (more a factor of heartburn than paranoia), I make sure to order fancy bottled water, and harass Seth about what beverage he should order so I can taste it.
I spent some time thinking about the past three years, but perhaps more thinking about how different the next year is going to be. Three years seems like both a long time and a short time - I remember vividly our wedding, our honeymoon, and all the adventures - good and bad (mostly good, I have to say) - that have happened in between. What I think makes it seem long is the fact that I am PREGNANT, which means there will be a BABY in seven-ish weeks, which is still such a far-out concept for me to wrap my head around.
I look kind of mmm, puffy. And so thrilled to be here. I blame the photographer.
The whole experience is just so far from everywhere I have been and everything I have done until now. Last year at this time, I was deep into training for the New York City Marathon. On this day last year, I ran the Army 10-Miler, and then ran home to get in an extra 4 miles to hit my necessary weekly training mileage. Today, I tried to find a t-shirt that still covered my belly, went to the market with Seth, researched diaper bags, and got a pedicure because painting my own toenails is most definitely out of the question at this point. It's been an ambitious day - I feel pretty energetic. Unlike yesterday, when I just felt sapped of energy most of the day. It's not the total, soul-sucking fatigue of the first trimester, but I'm definitely draggy on some days. Sleep cannot be depended on. Last week, I felt like I was in a tussle of wills (already???!!!!) with the baby, who likes to curl herself along the right side of my uterus. I normally fall asleep on my left side, and will wake up a couple of hours later to flip over to my right because something has probably cramped or gone numb. Then I move whatever pillow is working for me that night, and do the cumbersome, slow-mo roll over to my right side, rearrange my limbs and belly on the pillows, and go back to sleep. Except that the baby was having NONE OF IT. Every time I would roll over to my right side, no matter how I propped my belly, the baby would kick and punch and wiggle until I just gave up and rolled back over to my left. I tried to sleep through it, but this would seriously go on for like ten minutes, and I just couldn't take it any more. Fine, fine! I'm rolling over! Are you happy? OK? And seemingly, she would be. This week, I'm allowed to sleep on my right side most nights, which has made for better sleep.
I also have some competition for my body pillow:
There is progress on our house. Of course, we wish it were faster. I really try not to think about it too much, because it would make me insane, and be a waste of energy, and I need all the energy I can get. I went over to the house yesterday for the first time in a few days to view the taking down of the back kitchen wall. This wall was originally an exterior wall, and our three-season porch was originally an open back porch. The porch will be our new kitchen eating area and mud room. I have to say, I love it. So much light comes in, and the sight line from the front to the rear of the house is great. It's going to be fantastic. (Here's the old kitchen, for comparison.)
We talk about all the photos we've taken of the house, to show the before and after. Seth has pointed out that the "new" Version 2.0 house will be the only one the baby ever knows. He can't wait to show her all the photos of the "old" house, to show her how we lived before she came along. I am sure that once the house is finished, and once she is here, it will feel like it has always been that way, and the photos may seem almost as distant to us as they will to her.